The Rumor Mill

Half fact, half rumor and half wild speculation about Christmas music.

We get satellite TV in the workshop up here at the North Pole. Ernie (the super-geeky elf: think thick glasses, pocket protector and odd social skills) figured out how to tune into the local channels of all the big cities across the USA. We can’t help but notice the local news out of Orlando is much the same as Seattle or Denver. Crime is up, the economy is tough and kids do the craziest things. We even noticed the negative political ads, no matter where they were from, used the same voiceover talent so we’re convinced there’s not an honest politician anywhere. We’re lucky up here at the Pole. We have a dictator we all actually love and there are no elections anytime soon.

Saw the oddest letter from one of the major providers of LED based Christmas lights in the USA. They admit to having some manufacturing issues and not being able to fulfill demand. Looks like the 2010 LED strings will be ready to ship in December of 2010. Hmmmm. I’m thinking it’s good a manufacturer admits they have problems but not so good Christmas decorations won’t arrive until after Christmas. Maybe there will be an LED glut in early 2011 meaning some good deals. We’ll see. I’m convinced China is making more money building giant screen TVs than those little bitty Christmas lights.

You heard it here first: Christmas light shows and race tracks are the future. NASCAR is pretty slow in December and horse racing is waiting for warmer weather. Those giant venues stand vacant and are perfect for over-the-top Christmas light shows. There’s plenty of power and they can already handle large crowds. Got a race track in your community? Book it for 2011 and celebrate the wonders of gigantic Christmas shows.

We listen to Christmas music at the North Pole year round. It’s always soothing and keeps us elves productive but Santa was telling us about the oddest trend he’s been seeing as he checks up on his favorite boys and girls during the year. Seem some are leaning towards Guns and Roses music for their Christmas displays. Say goodbye to Bing Crosby and hello Axl Rose. What is this world coming to???
Just for the record, we don’t make Christmas lights up here at the North Pole. We sure have a lot of them but we import from China just like everyone else. Us elves have this saying: “You get what you pay for.” Now that I think about it, I hear Chuck at PlanetChristmas saying that a lot, too. What does it have to do with Christmas lights? This is the time of year when those really cheap lights you bought last year come out of the closet, plugged in and seldom work. The manufactures give a one season warranty and it’s always for last season so this year you have cheap lights that don’t work. Spend a little extra and be happy. Whatever you do, stop calling me about those bad strings!

So much more to say but no more room.


This article was included in the November 2010 issue of PlanetChristmas Magazine.

By Master Elf N. B. Scuttlebutt

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