Rumors and unsubstantiated semi-facts

  • A Christmas tree dress

    The rumor mill ends another year

    What’s the big decorating trend this year? I really hope it’s not those dress manikins shaped like Christmas trees. Creepy. Pretty sure these mani-trees will end up in the attic next year, hiding in the corner and scaring any bats that stray too close. Ranks right up there with black Christmas trees. Who comes up with these crazy ideas??? How about those laser Christmas lights that seemed to be everywhere last year? Point one at your house and have thousands of little red and green dots floating around. We had one here at the North Pole and I’ll admit it…

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  • Shark Tank TV show

    Rumor mill rumblings

    The workshop has been buzzing about all that recent presidential excitement in the USA. We’ve never had an election here at the North Pole. Santa has been in charge from the beginning and no one has complained. He must be doing something right. All other countries of the world should take note. Remember Geek My Tree ( They’ve been to several Christmas Expos. Brad and his father created a great product that let you light your tree in just a few minutes with the latest RGB smart pixel technology. They appeared on ABC’s TV show called Shark Tank and got…

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  • Big Mouth Billy Bass

    Rumor mill rumors

    Friday night we cranked up the satellite dish and caught the opening episode for Gold Rush on the Discovery channel. Vast landscapes of pristine snow. All us elves got a bit misty eyed because it so looked like home here at the North Pole. Unfortunately, Santa hasn’t let us outside for over a month because toy demands are through the roof this year. We’re not complaining, at least not too much. Busy elves are elves staying out of trouble. The more toys we build means the more smiles there will be on faces come Christmas day. Remember Big Mouth Billy…

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  • Goldfish in a bowl

    More from the rumor mill

    Microsoft has determined the attention span of a human is eight seconds. Mythbusters figured out a goldfish can stay focused 30-45 seconds. Finally it’s been proven once and for all that if you want something done right, engage a goldfish. It certainly explains the actions of the younger elves around this place. Get them out of the workshop and long noses are-all-but glued to their smartphones checking on the latest non-information from Facebook and Twitter. What does all this mean for Christmas decorators? Either install some sort of smartphone jamming device or make your work more interesting than the Kardashians…

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  • Merry Christmas from Texas

    The rumor mill never stops

    Been hearing some weird rumors from participants in the 2014 version of ABC’s Great Christmas Light Fight. Decorating started sometime during the second week in September with final judging three weeks later. I’m thinking getting excited about your big Christmas reveal in early October could be challenging. Since participants aren’t allowed to tell anyone what they’re doing the neighbors might get a bit irritated seeing a big Christmas display weeks before Halloween. I’m guessing the timing is really convenient for the TV people having to create something for airing in December but if I was a contest participant, I’d be…

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  • Northern Lights

    Not the rumor mill again?

    All this time us elves thought we were watching Mother Nature’s Northern Lights up in the sky but we’re no longer so sure. My shift is still talking about those over-the-top Christmas displays seen on some TV show called ‘Great American Light Fight’ last Christmas. I’m thinking our December based Northern Lights are really the glow from some of those houses. Good job, decorators! The big man in red gave us a Spring Break this year. Most elves headed south in search of warm weather beaches. Not me. I wound up on some enormous cruise ship floating around the Caribbean.…

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  • Pizza slice for the elves

    The Rumor Mill has found more… rumors.

    Santa gave all the elves the afternoon off in early November so I wandered down to the well heated North Pole Galleria to grab a couple of slices of supreme pizza at Sbarro since I’m trying to watch my weight. The place was already decorated for Christmas and right there in center court was Santa sitting on a throne and talking to kids. I had always wondered why he suddenly became so hard to find the last two months of the year. I assumed he was working on delivery logistics for all those presents he had to distribute really early…

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  • A really hot day for Santa

    Rumor mill ruminations

    What an interesting summer with the war of the Christmas shows, each on the same weekend of July in Conroe, Texas and Gatlinburg, Tennessee. This elf made it to both and in some ways they were similar. Hot. I mean as in outside temperature. Both shows had a pretty good vendor hall and lots of Christmas fanatics but that’s where the similarities ended. The Texas show seemed aimed at the hardcore, techie kind of decorator. Very impressive classes with several geared for the Halloween haunter. I knew I was in trouble when this handsome elf was mistaken for an ugly…

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  • Santa on Labor Day vacation

    The Rumor Mill keeps grinding it out

    Santa gave us Labor Day off with one little caveat. We had to promise to return the next day ready to work around the clock until December 24. Seems the world is in a growth spurt since the population recently crossed the seven billion mark. All I know is that’s a seven with way-too-many zeroes after it. I’m one of the older elves and it doesn’t seem that long ago when Santa was using the million word instead of billion. There’s a lot more of you on the face of the planet but still only us elves at the North…

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  • Show at Buckingham Palace

    The Rumor Mill is working overtime

    The big man in red gave us a night off. We aimed the satellite dish toward Europe and the TV picked up the grand concert in front of Buckingham Palace celebrating the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. Wow. The Brits sure know how to have a good time. Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Tom Jones, Paul McCartney and plenty of others were on stage and singing the oldies-but-goodies. We were mesmerized by the lights and pyrotechnics on the stage. Every now and then they would show the front of the palace that had become a giant movie screen. Pretty amazing watching the palace…

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