The rumor mill ends another year

Half fact, half rumor and half wild speculation.

What’s the big decorating trend this year? I really hope it’s not those dress manikins shaped like Christmas trees. Creepy. Pretty sure these mani-trees will end up in the attic next year, hiding in the corner and scaring any bats that stray too close. Ranks right up there with black Christmas trees. Who comes up with these crazy ideas???

How about those laser Christmas lights that seemed to be everywhere last year? Point one at your house and have thousands of little red and green dots floating around. We had one here at the North Pole and I’ll admit it was a whole lot easier than stringing a bunch of Christmas lights. After a while a new game started with the little elves. Boys would stand in front of the laser gizmo, wait for a red dot to show up on their shirt, scream SNIPER! and hit the ground. Pretty sure that’s not Christmas spirit. The good news is most of those laser things were cheaply made and lucky to make it through the season. Ours conveniently burned out on December 26. No lasers this year, please.

Blow molds? What’s old is new again. Those relics from the past taking up space in the basement are now popular. Find yours, clean it up and be ready for the compliments. That four-foot plastic snowman should be destined for the featured spot in your front yard. Light it with pride.

Battery operated Christmas lights are showing up in bulk at the big box stores. Yes! With LEDs a couple of batteries will keep those little-bitty lights lit for weeks. Christmas lights everywhere including the middle of the kitchen table. Now we’re talking.

After 23 years of helping us light up for the holidays it looks like Paul Sessel has sold Creative Displays. Wonder how many C7 bulbs that translates to? Angela Primavera is the new owner so Creative Displays lives on. We already miss you Paul. Best of luck to Angela.

What about those over-the-top, high-tech computerized Christmas light displays where everything dances to the music? Smart pixel technology is supposed to be getting easier to use but I’ve been told you still need to be part engineer and computer geek for the super-wow stuff. Pretty sure we’ll see plenty of smart pixels on ABC’s Great Christmas Light Fight this year. Take notes and if you have visions of being an over-the-topper begin getting ready for next year by starting your planning in January. I’d also keep an eye on those engineers at Light-O-Rama. They keep coming out with new stuff that’s just ahead of the next big thing. How do they do that?
How is this elf going to decorate? Classic decorations mixed with a bit of the modern stuff is the key to success. Do what makes you feel good. Santa says any decorating is better than no decorating.

Then there was the personnel problem that had to be addressed here at the North Pole. The shouting matches between the red and green dormitories had become commonplace. Each watched a different 24-hour news channel, and each had a very different view of the world. It started to affect our toy quality in the factory because each side thought the other was made up of idiots. Santa had a campus-wide meeting saying the constant bickering was unacceptable, counterproductive and things were going to change. Out went the televisions. Access to social media was limited to an hour a day. In the cafeteria he mixed up our seating assignments, so reds and greens had to sit next to each other and actually talk face-to-face. Now we’re all working together as a team, treating each other as equals while cranking out the best toys ever. As usual Santa knows best. I love this place!

I’m done. Have a great Christmas.


This article was included in the November 2017 issue of PlanetChristmas Magazine.

By Master Elf N. B. Scuttlebutt

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