More from the rumor mill

Where would we be without all these interesting stories???

Microsoft has determined the attention span of a human is eight seconds. Mythbusters figured out a goldfish can stay focused 30-45 seconds. Finally it’s been proven once and for all that if you want something done right, engage a goldfish. It certainly explains the actions of the younger elves around this place. Get them out of the workshop and long noses are-all-but glued to their smartphones checking on the latest non-information from Facebook and Twitter. What does all this mean for Christmas decorators? Either install some sort of smartphone jamming device or make your work more interesting than the Kardashians or cat videos. No wonder I miss the good old days.

Santa returned from his late December trip around the world and debriefed us in early January. Over-the-top computerized Christmas light shows are as popular as ever while traditional decorating is also making a comeback. Wonder if it has anything to do with attention spans?

Undercover elves in upstate New York are telling me Light-O-Rama has been busier than usual cranking out products for this year. New pixel boards and wireless controllers will hit the shelves soon. There’s talk of a folding pixel tree that’s super-easy to ship, setup and store. Cosmic color ribbons are shifting from being weatherproof to waterproof meaning you can install them in the pool. The sequencing tools have been revamped to handle 1.8 zillion channels and instant sequencing is easier than ever. I’ll admit I’m still trying to figure out how many commas are in a zillion but it sounds like LOR wants you to have a really bright Christmas.

Santa mentioned some near-misses on his once-a-year world tour. Rudolf’s bright nose and sharp eyes prevented a few drones from having really short lives. Thanks to our young elves with their fancy smartphones we’ve watched some amazing YouTube videos taken by drones of huge Christmas displays. This has always been a view only Santa could experience but technology continues to change everything. Want to become best friends with total strangers this holiday season? Buy a drone and video everything in its way. Word to the wise: keep your drone grounded on Christmas Eve.

What’s the latest technique for hurting big Christmas displays, especially ones where money changes hands? The Grinch makes an anonymous call to ASCAP and the music police start knocking at your door. Pay a penalty to ASCAP or cut a deal for an official license. The other option: use royalty free music. Urg.

People love the old Christmas traditions and want to relive them once a year. I miss aluminum Christmas trees with those fire starting color wheels. 20 years from now people will miss the old fashioned computerized light shows. Your challenge as a Christmas decorator? Keep us fascinated for longer than eight seconds.


This article was included in the Spring 2015 issue of PlanetChristmas Magazine.

By Master Elf N. B. Scuttlebutt

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