Rumor mill rumors

Half fact, half runor and half wild speculation about zombie movies?

I’m a Christmas dude. Always considered Halloween people to be way-too-weird for this normal-thinking elf. Zombie movies, haunted houses and a fascination for anything gory is just not normal. But, there’s that viral video of a house in the UK decorated for All Saints Day with giant pumpkins singing to the music. Not a drop of blood anywhere in sight. All of a sudden I’m seeing Halloween decorating potential. Kind of a warm-up to the real deal we call Christmas. Checkout At last check it had over seven million views. Watch out Carson Williams!

Word on the street is NASCAR is getting into Christmas big time. Think drive through light parks ending with a spin on the high speed oval. Bristol has been doing it for a couple of decades. Charlotte and Las Vegas got into it last year. New Hampshire, Texas and Georgia speedways are joining the action in 2011. Checkout your local track and watch out for Alvin the elf. He’s been known to put on Santa’s travel jacket, slip the sleigh out of the barn and do high speed laps wherever he can find an oval that’s not full of funny looking cars. Carl Edwards should keep looking in his rear view mirror and be ready to say “when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer…”

Did you see that giant rocking horse Mosca Designs had at Christmas Expo? I might only be four feet tall, but that thing had to be at least 15 feet to the ears. It slowly rocked back and forth. Outlined in lights and nothing but classy. I was so impressed. Where did the horse go? Seems it had a mirror image twin and they both ended up at the Christmas Ranch close to Cincinnati. I’m trying to con Santa into a field trip so I can get my picture made next to these guys!

LED alert! LED Christmas lights are supposed to last 100,000 hours. Using some elf math that works out to about 833.333 Christmases. Seems real life doesn’t match up with the theoretical stuff. There are already folks quite agitated that LEDs bought for last Christmas are testing dead for this season. Manufacturers say it’s not their fault and oh, by the way, your one year warranty expired last week. What’s the solution? Test your lights before you put them up and when you take them down. Return the bad ones to the store ASAP and hope for the best.

What’s up with Light-O-Rama? Light controllers seem pretty tough to find. Their website talks about supply chain issues. I sent an elf down to New York to nose around and he found the real problem: Orders have exceeded all previous estimates meaning demand is far greater than supply. I can’t decide if it’s a good problem for the LOR folks or not. Word to the wise: order early next year. Having light controllers resting in the closet is far better than hoping the UPS guy makes a delivery in time for your unveiling.

So much more to say but no more room. Don’t worry. I’ll be back! Know something I can share with the world? Think of this nosey elf as the WikiLeaks of the Christmas world.

This article was included in the November 2011 issue of PlanetChristmas Magazine.

By Master Elf N. B. Scuttlebutt

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