The Rumor Mill

LEDs: lousy, expensive and for dummies

LEDs Light Emitting Diodes. Let me get this straight. These things are suppose to save the world. They last forever, use next to no electricity and are revolutionizing the Christmas decorating world. I only need to say this once. Bah Humbug!

LEDs. Lousy, Expensive and for Dummies. We definitely don’t need any new fangled technology up here at the North Pole workshop. After using good old electric light bulbs for the last hundred years there’s no reason to change, especially since they’re proven to work, unlike some of the slacker elves around this place. I can buy 60 watt light bulbs on sale at the commissary at five for a dollar. But noooooooo. Mrs. Claus says we gotta go green and isn’t worried the new bulbs cost twenty times as much. Thomas Edison is spinning is his grave now. This is progress?

The workshop is now humming 24×7 in anticipation of the best Christmas yet. The rumors are pouring in faster than I can process them. Thank goodness I have a good memory so I can pass on a couple of little tidbits to you.

Chuck Smith was recently spotted wandering around the Gatlinburg Convention Center. Wonder what he’s up to? Last time he was spotted in the area was during PLUS2007. Since PLUS2009 didn’t exactly go as planned I wonder if he has something up his sleeve for 2010?

Saw those pictures from Melissa Williams taken during her recent trip to China. Most people think we make all the world’s Christmas lights up here at the North Pole. Nope. When we bought our first bulb 100 years ago we knew it would be better to let someone else build those things. China stepped up to the plate a few decades ago. Never realized it took so many people to make all those Christmas lights in the stores. Now that I think about it, people do buy a bunch of Christmas lights, especially the over-the-toppers at PlanetChristmas. Finally figured out why LEDs cost so much. The manufacturers are trying to make up for the low prices in the past. It might be good for them but it sure is tough on you. Last I checked Winterland was running a pretty good sale. Mernard’s even had a decent selection but the quality on the really low priced lights seemed, well, not up to normal North Pole standards. Be careful.

So much more to say but no more room. Don’t worry. I’ll be back!

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This article was included in the November 2009 issue of PlanetChristmas Magazine.

By Master Elf N. B. Scuttlebutt

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